The Price of Admission

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPkfn1_XnrU - The Self Worth Reset After Trying To Earn Love - Leo Skepi

Dearest Leo,

Your voice broke through the depths of the icy darkness where my heart lay entrenched last night. It has been your voice that gets me through the lonely nights quite a few times since I first discovered you several months ago. 

I used to think I wanted my writing to be good enough to make a noticeable impact on the world, but then resigned to just wanting my words to matter to those around me. If you want to make the world a better place, start with yourself. Do my words matter to me? Am I being a person worthy of my own love, or am I still trying to earn a place at someone else’s table? Why do these moments make me doubt my grasp on reality or my very understanding of the English language?

I was told I have low self-esteem tonight, and I think it might be partially true, but I’m wondering what that means about what I deserve. How would it change my perspective on the words being spoken to me if my daughters were in my place?

I know there are good things about me. My love for my children is fierce and unconditional. I have integrity. I love others, even strangers, with all my heart. It didn’t take long for the people at kdp to see my spirit and my work ethic.

I am a woman who wanted to be seen by someone that she deeply loved. And now…

And now?

Now I understand that visibility is not something to be negotiated.

With much love and gratitude,

Jessica