Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas (I got the job)

That job was mine. I bled for that.
No luck, no gift, no safety net.
I showed up shaking, showed up tired.
I earned the yes and I met the fire.

So don't erase it, don't downplay.
That win still stands and it's here to stay.
Even if home's undefined tonight,
my worth did not get left behind.

The apartment, god, it fucking hurts.
I saw my future in that light,
that quiet joy, that exhale place.
I mourn the life I almost traced.

But loss is not a verdict sent.
It's just a door that closed too fast.
That dream didn't refuse my name.
It just said, not yet. Not this frame.

This moment isn't proof I'm stuck,
it's pressure building, tightening up
before the shift, before the turn,
before the thing I haven't earned.

I'm standing. Breathing. Holding ground.
Not lost. Not late. Not breaking down.
I didn't come this far to fade...
I pause because I'm well-made.